Over the years, in my personal development workshops, a lot of women have asked me “How can I make a man love me?”
(Just as many men have asked the same question of women. Truly, we all want to be in a loving relationship.)
So let’s get one thing straight right now – you can’t make a man love you. You don’t have the power to control his mind, after all.
But you CAN do many things which will show yourself to a potential lover in the best possible light.
And you can do a great many more things to make a man like you. And liking is definitely the foundation for love. So, if you want to “make a man love you”, read on, and follow these excellent tips for making a man love you.
1 Be Yourself
Apparently Oscar Wilde said “Be yourself, everyone else is taken.”
I think he meant that we all need to be authentic. And nowhere is that more true than in the world of love, sex and relationships. You need to be who you truly are.
You see, trying to be somebody you’re not in the hope that a man will fall in love with you is setting yourself up for a car crash of a relationship.
Even if you manage to conjure up an image of what he thinks is perfection, the moment you reveal that’s not really who you are, he’s going to feel shocked.
And he’s going to know that you lied to him or tried to deceive him. And he will definitely know that he’s not with the person he thought he was with. Chances of falling in love? Zero.
No man likes to be made a fool of, so if you reveal yourself to be somebody you’re not after a few days, weeks or even months of dating, you can be pretty certain he’ll walk away.
Being yourself really is the best policy for creating love, because it’s a case of “what he sees is what he gets”. That’s a lot easier on both of you!
And anyway, nothing makes love grow faster than a genuine authentic relationship connected at the heart level.
And you only get a good man and a great relationship by being genuine.
2 Be Individual
So what can you do if you’ve set up your personality to be like everybody else?
Well, you can start by finding your unique selling point as a woman in love with a man. What is it that makes you different from everyone else?
Just as you wouldn’t want a boring man, so the man whom you want to make love you doesn’t want a boring woman. Find your special gifts and accentuate them.
To fall in love with a unique and interesting woman is every man’s dream.
3 Look Good
It hardly needs saying, but if you want a man to fall in love with you, then you need to look like you’re a woman who cares about herself.
It’s a cliche, isn’t it? Men are visual. Well, it’s true? Your appearance matters. It needs to tell him you’re proud of who you are, and you care about yourself.
Doesn’t the thought of his love make you feel want to look your best at all times? To give yourself the greatest chance of catching the man of your dreams?
Well, you can go further than that. You can find out what your man actually likes in a woman.
You don’t need to be a petite size zero. What you need to do is to find your best features and accentuate them. And then, find out what he likes in a girl and subtly incorporate that into your wardrobe or your beauty repertoire. And it could be as simple as buying the short, cute, flowery summer dress that he likes so much.
Making this effort for him will make him love you all the more.
4 Value Yourself
And here we’re going to start by talking about valuing yourself sexually.
You’ve probably heard the idea that men want a challenge when they’re getting into a relationship – they want to have to chase women, because it’s the chase that really excites them and get them interested.
And that’s generally true. So if you’re quick and easy, he might take advantage of you, but he’s not going to fall in love with you.
Worse, you’re not going to make him love you by giving him sex as soon as he shows signs of wanting it.
Make him show you what a man he is. And when you do “surrender” to his attention, remember to make your bedroom time together really special too. You know why: men value the physical side of a relationship – it’s really important to them. And a woman who is “good in bed” is a much more attractive prospect for a man to love than a woman who’s indifferent about sexual pleasure.
And bear in mind too that valuing yourself means maintaining your own opinions, attitudes and boundaries. So if you say “yes” to everything he proposes, he’s likely to get bored with you very quickly.
You must maintain your independence, have your own opinions, and make him work for your love.
5 Be A Good Listener
Men need to talk. They may not need to talk as much or as often as women, but they need to talk.
And as you will know, trying to talk about deep and intimate matters, or even about the simple things of the day, to someone who isn’t really interested is uncomfortable if not offensive.
So if your man wants to talk to you, take the time to listen to him carefully, and show him that you’ve heard what he’s said by reflecting it back to him.
By the way, just as you don’t want your problems solved, he may not want your solutions either. He may simply be telling you about what’s going on for him to discharge the tension of a difficult time.
So when he needs an ear to listen, listen. And you can expect him to do the same for you in return.
The intimacy of shared experiences and talking about feelings can make him love you – and you love him – more quickly than you might imagine.
6 Be Positive and Inspirational
We all have times in our lives when we feel negative.
But the truth is negativity helps no one. There’s enough negativity in the world as it is. If you can be positive, and perhaps even inspirational, and live a life of joy, happiness and gratitude, you’re much more likely to make a man love you.
Even when the going gets rough you can still be positive and optimistic – what people don’t understand is that being positive is a habit which can be cultivated.
7 Be Feminine
We all know how women may feel when they have to be masculine or adopt masculine behaviors to succeed in the workplace.
But at home, there’s room for femininity. And being in your femininity will drive a man into his masculinity – and that’s good for both of you!
But don’t think femininity means being weak! Femininity is powerful. All those mythological Indian goddesses were powerful, sometimes vengeful even.
It’s a mistake to think that feminine qualities are delicate and sweet. They’re not, they’re strong. But they are also the opposite polarity to a man’s masculinity. And nothing will drive him into that masculinity faster than having a feminine companion.
Video – Relationships by Tony Robbins
8 Be Fun
We’ve already touched on this, but it’s worth mentioning again.
If you want to make a man love you, then make him feel good. On way to do this is laugh at his jokes.
And make him laugh. Men absolutely love it when a girl can make them laugh – it’s easy, relaxed, and it’s nice to be around you.
Better still if you can let your hair down, and your silly side out to play!That way, you really will have fun, and it’ll make you look adorable and funny. And in his eyes, that’s a real plus.
9 Be The Woman He Can Trust
A relationship depends on several qualities if it’s to last a long time – respect, friendship, support, and trust are the most important of these.
We’ll take it as read that you’re in a relationship with a man you want to make love you, so you’re going to be respectful – but are you trustworthy?
Trust comes in many forms, starting with the obvious things like you not sharing his secrets with your girlfriends and you being there for him when he tells you the things that he hasn’t told anybody else.
Trust is based on listening without judgment and with total acceptance of the other person.
And those are the kinds of things which will make him fall in love with you faster than you can imagine. But there’s another aspect to trust: do you trust yourself?
If you’re insecure, and constantly asking him where he is, or thinking (or even suggesting) he might be with another woman, or wondering if he’s unfaithful, he’s very soon going to get the idea that you’re not his ideal lover, partner or wife. And as for making him love you? Well, forget it.
And if you do suspect that he’s having an affair, challenge him directly, see what he says, and then make a clean decision whether or not you want to be with him.
If you’re in a relationship with a man whom you trust, then sit back, relax and trust yourself as well.
10 Give Him Space
After years of working with men, I’ve discovered something which really irks them.
And that’s having a woman around them who constantly needs to be in their presence.
Men really need a personal space – going away into “The Man Cave” is one way in which they “work out” whatever’s happening for them.
Not only that, but once in a while a man wants to spend some time finishing his work, or thinking, or relaxing with his buddies over a few beers.
Let’s face it, as a woman you aren’t going to change this trait. Worse, a man will hate you if you try and change him.
So if you truly love a man, let him be who he is, just as he should let you be who you are. That’s a sign of mutual respect, and it’s essential for a good relationship.
If you don’t like spending time with his male buddies, then instead of complaining, find a group of female friends with whom you can have a night out or share an activity you all enjoy.
You’ll find it wonderfully affirming of who you are to be with your own sex rather than in a mixed group or with your partner all the time.