Successful Manifestation

It’s clear that if you are attempting to co-create anything in the world, or to explore the principles of manifestation, as expounded by Napoleon Hill in “Think & Grow Rich” , there are three important parameters that ought to be brought into the equation.

Perhaps the most vital is total commitment to the law of attraction. In popular language we name it firmness of purpose. This quality is a key component when you are trying to manifest anything since it clearly shows your absolute confidence in your ability to move towards your adopted outcome.

Video: Successful Manifestation

A basic truth is this: wholehearted commitment is a clear reminder to your mind and brain that you are resolute about achieving your goal, no matter what the problems may be.

And if the Oneness (another word for God) appreciates that you are sure of your aims, your spiritual connection starts to show you possibilities of how life can be – and so propel you towards your goals more simply and efficiently than you could ever imagine.

Click here to find out more about how the law of attraction can help you manifest anything you desire.

In manifestation, your program is always your wished-for goal. If you don’t have a clear goal, which the law of attraction can use to help you get what you want, nothing very impressive will can be expected to change – either now or in the future.You can understand that the part of your mind responsible for manifesting physical reality needs to have something that you could call an operating system or program in the same way as a PC; your primal manifestation power depends more or less totally on a appropriate set of operating instructions.

And what next? Well, experts agree you need closely held and passionate desire when you are attracting reality! This means you must feel into yourself and find a highly significant improvement in money, relationship, circumstances.

I always emphasize the essential nature of strongly held hope for what you want most in life. For sure, if you wish to manifest your reality, desire is the catalyst behind our ability to manifest.

The mechanism by which this extremely powerful force which we call the law of attraction can create hard physical reality is as yet unexplained. Essentially, why should we seek to know what is unknown?

But most men and women expect more answers. Surely our hope lies here. That matter and energy are the same. Many of our finest minds concur – our mental energy can indirectly impact the evolution of material things.

Perhaps your reaction to this is, “it’s impossible!” I say, good for the skeptics – as long as they keep an open mind. When you see such strange claims, lack of clarity understandable as a mental attitude. Even so, we damage ourselves when we strive to reduce the likelihood of the human ability around manifestation, conscious creation, and the Laws that govern creation and conscious manifestations.

Despite the critics, the doubters, and the cynics, the more spiritual aspects of human existence – manifestation and creation – are widely accepted as natural human gifts by scientists and lay people alike.

Even though many people have tried to ridicule manifestation, most balanced people truly believe in our capacity to run our own lives truly and effectively. The next necessary element of getting what you want is expectancy.

It’s a kind of belief, but there is a subtle but important difference of meaning. This may illustrate it: you think that you might win any lottery where you have an entry ticket, but you – I would guess – don’t expect to win big, even though you are certain that some happy recipient wins a major prize every drawing.

After all, you you need to be open to receive the whatever the universe offers to you. The Great Mystery is not unpredictable and isn’t going to produce anything unless the preconditions that apply to the Laws of Attraction are matched.

In fact, issues with manifestation not working arise when a person is “operating” from a long standing and limiting mindset which may well prevent them from employing the principles of the Law of Attraction as a key part of our existence. Such challenges become instantly clear when you think of a fairly common want: to get great riches.

A lot of individuals begin with the goal of manifesting financial riches. After months picturing their bank packed with assets, they stop trying because it hasn’t worked. There’s a quite simple trick which anyone can do to examine the solidity of your belief.

What if, you desired to attain enough money to retire on? Whether you think this is a genuine possibility depends on many variables. For many people, the difficult issue is how this might occur.

By detaching from the desired outcome, you can perhaps understand that while the “hows” can be a powerful dilemma in manifestation, should you move past that mindset, it’s simple to acquire this level of wealth without even currently being able to imagine or understand how it is to be attained.

Archetypal energy and manifestation

Another way to look at the whole question of manifestation is to think of it as a natural human ability which depends on our connection to the divine (meaning: the energy of the universe).

In the archetypal model of the human personality, we would see our  connection to the divine as a facet of the sovereign archetype. This archetype represents a part of the personality which holds our highest beliefs and values, our sense of purpose, and our wisdom to see that we are all inter-connected. It is indeed the part of the personality which takes us beyond ourselves into the spiritual realm.

It is the part of our being which allows us to feel that we are part of a bigger whole. When we sit in the spiritual energy of the sovereign (ie King or Queen) archetype, we know that we are all a part of the same creation, and we are capable of manifesting things that seem impossible in the more worldly warrior archetype. If archetypal energies are an aspect of the subject you would like to explore more, whether with reference to finding a partner and loving relationship, or manifesting anything else you desire, you can read about it here.

Shadow energies stop manifestation

In general, people have little success with manifestation (despite the fact tat we are all a part of the divine!) This is because the success of manifestation depends on pure, unfettered belief that you are capable of getting what you want.

What stops that? Your limiting beliefs. These are the beliefs you hold in shadow. (Shadow being simply defined as your unconscious mind.) So if, in any part of you, there is the slightest doubt that you won’t get what you are trying to manifest, well….. you won’t.

How do you overcome this? Basically, by engaging in a psychological process known as shadow work. That’s a system of psychological change which seeks to eliminate faulty and self-limiting beliefs in your unconscious mind. If you want to find out about shadow work facilitation, check this out.

Ways To Create Objectives

Since the television broadcast of The Secret, authored by Rhonda Byrne, in 2006, there has been a useful amount of constructive discussion around manifestation.

Unsurprisingly men and women are keen to find out how they could get behind the wheel of their existence for the better. Or how they can have a more promising existence around them. Or how they really can produce – that is to say, bring into being – the people and situations that they crave.

But the fact is obtaining what you need is more problematic than it might look on your first attempt. That is not to definitely say that it’s super hard to employ the Law Of Creation, but it does necessitate you to really understand the right skills.

Manifestation

Lots of men apparently believe that should they come up with a suitable goal and envision it with energy and effort every morning for 20 minutes they are going to be fulfilled by it mysteriously appearing in their world.

This is a simplistic strategy doomed to fail, because they’re not displaying the emotional energy and intensity which actually causes the Law of Attraction to work in their own favor.

Now, before we move any further into what this is all about it is worth clearly pointing out that manifestation is simply the universe creating in your physical reality the things that you expect with complete acceptance and expectancy.

The Law of Manifestation, which is also called the Law of Attraction, is the divine programming by which this happens.

What Men Like In Love

Is it really possible to make a man fall in love with you?

Yes – up to a point. How you behave, what you say, and how you interact with a man will definitely influence whether or not he likes you.

And since liking is the start of loving, you can definitely help your man to see how much he could love you by showing him what a likable woman you are. You never know, he might just fall head over heels in love with you!

Let’s start with the point where you’ve met a man you fancy. In fact, you’re crazy about him, and you’re certainly hoping he’s going to fall in love with you.

But before we go any further, there’s something really important to remember. If you are false, try to be someone that you’re not, or use manipulative strategies, you’re heading for failure. You might get a guy to fall for you in the short term. But in the long term, your relationship is going to be doomed. Your man will eventually discover the real you, and it won’t be the person with whom he fell in love.

Making A Man Fall For You Head Over Heels!

So let’s get going – with the initial warning that you can’t make a man fall in love with you. It’s a myth. But don’t despair! Because what you can do is to encourage him to fall in love with you. You can motivate him to fall in love with you. You can even entice him to fall in love with you.

It’s been said that the top three things that men want are sex, affirmation, and partnership.

I’m not sure I completely agree with that! I think what a man wants in a long-term relationship more than anything else is probably appreciation, respect, friendship, and sex – in that order.

There are other factors he’s going to be looking for, too. These include someone he can trust, someone who’ll support him, and someone whom he can support and love and help. (Don’t underestimate how important it is to a man to feel he’s doing something supportive or helpful for a woman. It’s deep in our male genes.)

So it’s a mistake to say that sex is always top of a list of man’s requirements. I would admit, however, that it’s near the top.

As a man, I’d also say that wooing and seducing a woman – the thrill of the chase – is important. Whether you think that’s true or not, it seems reasonable that we would be programmed genetically in that way. Almost all animal species require the male to work hard at displaying his good qualities before the female will mate with him.

Just a thought: maybe you shouldn’t have sex on the first date after all!

Anyhow,  here are some tips about

How To Make A Man Fall In Love With You

1 Respect What He Says & Does

Always try to respond or point out the positive rather than the negative in what a man says or does.

If you habitually find yourself saying things like “That won’t work…”, “You can’t do that…”, “I don’t think…” or the like, try to be more positive.

Think for a few seconds before you respond. Make the effort to understand where a man is coming from when he offers a suggestion or an idea. Maybe your negative responses come from pessimism, fear, habit, or laziness. But whatever the cause, a positive response, or a response which thoughtfully considers the options, makes you look much more  attractive.

And also try to listen so you understand what a man is really saying or why he is saying it. This is just simple courtesy and it’s not the same as agreeing with him.

2 Look Your Man In The Eyes

Look clearly and directly at your man with respect in your gaze and your heart.

This will make him feel masculine and appreciative because he senses the respect you feel for him. You see, a woman’s most desired quality in a relationship is to be cherished above all else by a man. But a man’s most desired quality in a relationship with a woman is to be respected by her.

Nothing diminishes a man’s self-respect, or his feelings of attraction and affection for a woman, more than having her diss him.

So, you ask, what constitutes disrespect? For example,  it’s when he’s making an effort to help or support you, and you don’t take what he’s offering seriously. This will make him feel that you don’t respect him. So even if you don’t want what he’s offering, be gracious and kind as you turn him down. Above all, don’t belittle him.

In essence, at a deeper level, respect is all about not judging a man for what he does or says. It’s about appreciating the fact that he’s offering something of himself to you. That he’s opening up to you.

No matter if he’s offering his support, his assistance, his attempt at problem solving, some new idea, his creativity, or something else. If you don’t want or agree with what’s being offered or suggested, at least treat his offering with respect.

By looking him in the eyes you’ll appear interested in him. You could also try smiling at him when he talks to you. That way, he’ll really think you understand him and care about him. This will deeply impact him, and make him feel much warmer towards you.

3 Touch Him

Touch your man in a non-sexual way to show him your  interest and appreciation, and develop a sense of closeness.

If you’re sitting near a man, display body language which suggests that you’re open to him, and also touch him gently. That could be on his arm, leg, shoulder, hand, back, or indeed anywhere else not especially sexual. You’ll find that if you do this naturally and easily, a deeper connection will rapidly develop between you.

4 Laugh A Lot

A couple who can laugh together are a couple who can sustain each other through good and bad. And we all know that laughter is “the best medicine”!

When you can laugh in the face of stress, you have a great gift – that of using shared humor to reinforce the bond between the two of you. However, although it probably doesn’t need to be said – don’t laugh at your man unless he’s made a joke, or unless he sees the funny side of it too!

5 Surprise Him

Make your man feel really appreciated by doing something a little bit out of the ordinary or unexpected for him.

Think how you feel when you find he’s left a love note for you in a surprise place. So why not return the favor for him? It doesn’t have to be something complicated. A simple post-it note saying “I love you” on his breakfast mug, or a love heart on the bathroom mirror is enough to get your message through.

In fact, a note or card expressing your love, or any kind of unexpected gift, will definitely make him feel warm towards you. And that’s the foundation of love.

6 Be Caring

Be kind and caring. Love develops more quickly when two people behave kindly and with care towards each other.

And this means showing thoughtfulness, offering your appreciation in the form of frequent “thank yous” and apologizing when necessary. All these things can make a relationship feel sweet and safe to be in. And that’s a relationship which leads to love.

7 Ask For His Help

Asking your man for is help will make his eyes light up. Now he feels useful and needed, with a chance to show you how good he is at being a man.

Few things give a man more pleasure than being able to help a woman. But you have to ask the right way. Here’s the formula: “I need your help.” Yes, that’s right. Forget feminism. Just ask.

7 Devote Time to Each Other

Spend as much time together as possible. One of the most powerful factors in falling in love is proximity – simply being close to each other.

Sure, if you’re out working all day and come home tired, it stands to reason you may not feel particularly close to each other. And that brings us onto the next points: you have to put time aside for each other.

How much time you put aside depends on your schedule, but the rule is very simple: the more time you spend together, the better. Have a date night. Make time for a check-in on a weekly basis, where you can talk about what’s going on between you.

You’re aiming to spend time together so you can experience how good it feels to be with your partner. That way, you’ll want to celebrate and appreciate them. When you do that, you’ll feel closer, more loving, and the chance of having a long-term relationship is much greater.

8 Act Like Your Man’s Loving Partner

Don’t argue with your man if you can avoid it, but if you do argue, make sure you don’t become abusive or insulting.

More than anything else, couples who are truly in love focus on the fact that they’re partners. You’re working together to build a relationship; you’re not competitors.

You want to be in this with him, and if your plan works out, you’ll be in it with him for a long time to come.

9 Let Him Know How Much You Appreciate Him

Take the time to say the words to your man that you want him to hear.

Once you get into the habit, it’s easier than you might imagine to say loving things. “You know, I feel really lucky to be with you.” “I’m so glad I met you, because I feel very warm towards you.” Comments like these go a long way to cementing a relationship, and helping a man work out how he feels about you. So it’s always going to be useful to tell him directly how you feel about him.

All of us want a loving relationship with a trusted partner, so it’s no surprise that the Internet is full of advice on how to make a man love you.

But really, just think about that for a minute – can you really “make someone love you”?

Surely any relationship where you’ve manipulated or tricked a man into being with you is hardly a relationship worth having?

Perhaps a much better way is to present yourself so you stand a good chance of attracting the man you want to be with, and hopefully discovering how to make him fall in love with you. That way lies true happiness.

Why Do We Want To Be In Love?

Some aspects of falling in love are impossible to explain – which is probably why there’s so much misinformation about how you can make a man fall in love with you. After all, love is a mystery to many of us….

Question is,  what’s the real secret to making him fall in love with you?

1 Emotional Independence

The opposite of emotional independence is neediness. And men don’t really like needy women.

I know that’s a big thing to say, but generally speaking it’s true.  Most men who are around needy women are often men who have a need to be helpful, supportive and make things right for women. In other words they get their self-esteem from supporting and helping others rather than from a sense of self-worth.

But an emotionally independent man who’s comfortable in his own skin will expect to be with a woman who is also comfortable in her own skin, and to a large extent emotionally independent.

That doesn’t mean to say there isn’t room for mutual support in times of trouble or stress – obviously that’s part of what partners do for each other in a loving relationship.

I’m really talking more about emotional independence as being responsible for your own happiness, and ensuring you can be happy without the constant attention and support of a man.

We all know that being in a relationship can be a source of great joy – but you don’t want it to be your only source of joy, surely?

If you really depend on a man to make you happy, then you’re probably to benefit from doing some personal work to clear your emotional baggage.

Bottom line: men don’t fall in love with needy women unless they are themselves needy in some way – and that’s no basis for a relationship which is going to last (although it might be useful for you to grow in the short term).

If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, emotional independence is the key.

2 Be Strong and Powerful in Your Own Right

Sadly a lot of women have been brought up to expect less than they deserve.

A lot of women, in short, are prepared to tolerate bad behavior – either in a man’s words, attitude, or even from physical abuse – because they are lonely or scared.

It’s a case of “anything is better than nothing”. But in reality, to have the kind of loving relationship you want, you have to love yourself.

When you love yourself, you won’t put up with a guy walking all over you.

So you need to have the strength to tell a man what’s acceptable and what’s not acceptable, to set boundaries and ground rules for your relationship, so that you can feel safe.

When a guy believes he can get away with anything and you’ll still be there for him, he isn’t going to value you for the person you truly are. And even if he stays with you, he’s probably not able to give you a loving relationship of the kind you want.

If you’ve never learned to stand up for yourself in the past, being able to hold your own ground to keep your own boundaries and maintain your own sense of self can be hard. But it’s absolutely vital to get a man who truly loves you in a relationship that’s worth having.

3 Be Worth His Efforts

We’ve all heard of “the chase“. A man chasing a woman, that is….

The idea is that when a man’s excited and interested by a woman she can play “hard to get” – even perhaps pretending she’s not available or all that interested. (Even if she’s very interested.)

It’s an old-fashioned idea, but there is a germ of truth in it – which is that men value things they have to work for.

But unfortunately the underlying belief that women are some kind of prize for his chase or pursuit has led to a whole culture of manipulative behaviour on part of women, best summed up in a book called The Rules.

The real rules of any relationship, particularly when you’re trying to make a man fall in love with you, are authenticity, integrity and honesty.

And even if men are hardwired to chase after women, rather than the other way round, you don’t have to be manipulative to win your man.

In fact, it’s quite probable that when you are manipulative there will come a time when your man wakes up to what’s been going on…..  and he may then decide that he doesn’t like being manipulated in that way! And then you will have a whole series of issues to work through before you can re-establish intimate emotional connection.

However if you feel that you’re worthy, if you’re proud of who you are, if you’re confident and you see yourself as deserving of a man with high standards, then he’s going to have to work hard to impress you.

Equally, you won’t have to manipulate him, because he’s going to fall in love with you naturally – just because of who you are.

Also bear in mind that if men are hardwired to chase after women, it’s not going to do your relationship much good if you start pursuing him!

At some level it’s going to make him feel less of a man andthat’s going to breed resentment – which you definitely don’t want in your relationship.

While it might do your ego good to believe that a man is chasing after you and “fighting” to win you, the truth of the matter is different.

No matter how much men might be hardwired to pursue women, they very much prefer to establish a relationship through shared times, loving connections, intimate experiences and shared interests.

After all, even though many of us would like to believe that “opposites attract”, research has demonstrated over and over again that when people are basically similar in outlook, values and attitudes, they have a much greater chance of falling in love.

4 Be Vulnerable

Being vulnerable means different things to different people. But I think you could basically sum it up as “opening your heart and showing someone who you truly are”.

All of us wear masks, hiding who we really are. That’s because as we grew up we learned that certain things are unacceptable. Then we learned to hide parts of our self so we would avoid painful experiences of one kind or another.

Unfortunately many of those masks stay with us in adult life, long after they’ve outlived their usefulness.

Being really vulnerable means opening yourself up to somebody else’s gaze, and putting aside these masks so others can see you for who you really are.

Acting out of fear – either fear of not being in love, or not being a relationship, or perhaps even not being able to make a man love you —  means that you’re acting in a way that isn’t your true character.

Being vulnerable means being heart centred, which in turn means being happy with your life just as it is, whether or not you’re in a relationship.

To put in another way: you have to love yourself before you can be loved by another.

Basically any man or woman who isn’t coming from a place of self-love is giving off some signals of neediness. And while that might attract somebody in the short term, it’s no basis for a long-term relationship.

Having said all of that, if you have needs which aren’t being met in a relationship – such as your need for companionship, love, affection, physical touch, or sex – then let your partner know.

Once again, this is about allowing yourself to be vulnerable, and if he doesn’t respond to this with an open heart, then he may not be the right guy you to fall in love with anyway.

5 Acknowledge and Appreciate Him

Love is the ultimate expression of our feelings.

And we fall in love with each other based on how we feel around another man or woman.

If you normally feel good, happy and content with who you are, and especially if you stand in our own power much of the time, you present yourself as a woman worthy of being loved.

And when you fall in love with a man, you want to make him happy – it’s natural. For a woman that’s about appreciating a man’s qualities and letting him know how much you appreciate what he does for you.

And perhaps more than anything else, it’s about you showing him appreciation for exactly who he is, without any hidden agenda or expectations.

When you take the time and trouble to acknowledge in him those things he is proud of, especially the qualities which other people never get a chance to see, he’s going to be happy to be in relationship with you, and he’s much more likely to fall in love with you.

6 Care About Him

Caring means more than a cursory enquiry such as “How was your day, darling?”

Caring is about really listening to your man, showing him you really care about what’s going on for him.

If you’re a woman who just gets caught up in the fantasy of being in a relationship with a man for its own sake, then you’re not likely to be paying much attention to the man you’re with – and that’s no basis for successful relationship!

You have to put the love of the man you love over and above your desire to be in a relationship. Because there’s nothing more certain than the fact that the man you’re with is going to know exactly how you feel about him.

And if you’re faking your relationship just so you have a boyfriend, he’s going to sense it – and you can’t really expect him to stay around for long.

7 Make Sure He Has His Own Space

One thing women really don’t seem to get about men is that men really do need to withdraw into their own space from time to time.

This is something natural for men. It’s how men recuperate and regroup, ready to go back into the world and fight the next battles.

But women don’t get this – for them, being close is a way of regrouping and recovering strength. Which means, sadly, that women often smother a guy exactly when he needs space and time. As he withdraws, she pursues. And it infuriates men! It’s the last thing they want!

Of course it’s understandable: when a woman sees a man withdrawing she feels insecure – that’s the way women are wired, it seems.

But you have to stop taking his need for space personally – it’s not about him leaving you! Nor is it because he doesn’t love you anymore!

It’s just the way men work. He can appreciate, respect and love you much more if you actually give him the space and time to withdraw into his cave when he goes silent and uncommunicative.

And that cave might be a shed in the garden, or a space in his own mind.

Equally, men need time with their male friends just to renew and rebuild their sense of masculinity.

You know how much you appreciate time with your girlfriends?  Well, allow him the same time and space with his buddies to get in touch with his masculine energy.

If you don’t willingly allow this, he’s going to feel really oppressed, and he mat then start thinking he needs to loosen the boundaries of the relationship – and that’s only heading one way!

So if you’re a woman who understands that a man needs time to recharge, and you avoid getting clingy, he’s much more likely to fall in love with you. Equally, he’s much more likely to appreciate the time you spend together.

How To Make A Man See You’re The One For Him!

We’re looking at some simple techniques, strategies and ways to make a man love you. You can read the first part of this article here. 

1 Be Supportive

In any relationship two people have some kind of responsibility to be supportive towards each other.

Are you supportive towards the man you want to love you? You can answer this question by working out what being supportive means for you.

Is it about being positive and encouraging? Is it about doing practical things for him? Is it about simply listening when he needs to talk?

You see, no matter how resilient and powerful your man might appear to be, there will come a time when he needs your support.

If you want him to love you, and if you want him to stay in love with you, he needs you by his side no matter what.

If your man knows you’re going to be there for him when he needs you, he’ll fall in love with you, for sure.

2 Let Him Provide

Programmed deep in a man’s genes is a desire to provide for a woman. (Read a controversial view of this here.)

Yes, believe it or not, men are genetically programmed to behave in certain ways. One of them is to pursue the woman they want, to fall in love with that woman, and then to do things for her.

You may have experienced this already. For example, men often want to solve a woman’s problems.

(While you want to talk. Yes, I know. Well, that’s part of life, and if you don’t want him to solve your problems you can politely tell him that you’re not looking for a solution. And you can gracefully accept his help on other occasions.)

It doesn’t matter whether it’s opening a jar of mayo, or bringing home the bacon.

Allowing your man to feel like the hero in your life will give him a sense of self-esteem and make him love you all the more.

3 Remind Him He’s Desirable

What’s the point of being in a relationship with the man you love if you don’t express your affection through flirting … and in the bedroom?

In any event, for two people in love, flirting is natural. It makes them feel good. It makes them feel wanted. It makes them feel needed.

You see, one of the problems with long-term relationships is that boredom can set in, and a degree of familiarity can make things seem, well, “samey”!

But why let this happen when you can keep things fresh by flirting with your man?

Whether you are on the third date or the hundred and third date, just keep doing the simple things which attracted your man in the first place.

You can make your man continue to love you, and you can keep the relationship exciting and fresh with gentle physical touches, sidelong glances of appreciation, paying attention when he talks…

All of those things and more are wonderful for a man. To feel the appreciation and attention of the feminine will keep him in love with you.

And of course you have a right to expect the same courtesy and respect from him. You wouldn’t want this to be a one-sided relationship where it’s you that making all the effort to maintain the love, now would you?

14 A Good Sex Life Supports His love For You

This may sound like a cliche, but it’s absolutely true that men connect to their feelings of love through sex.

And you don’t have to be wild in bed every time. There are many ways of making love, from the wild, passionate sex we all enjoy, to gentle romantic loving which is equally rewarding.

Even so, you can keep your sex life fresh and exciting by trying new things, whether that’s new techniques or new outfits, role-play, or different locations for making love.

Keep your self-respect intact by sticking to your sexual boundaries. Don’t fall for the line “If you loved me, you’d let me……” Equally, if he seems to be showing signs that you’re being a bit too wild, tone it down.

But make sure that above all else, your love for each other is supported and reinforced by good communication – such as discussing the kind of things you’d like to enjoy in the bedroom.

15 Try New Things

It’s hard to understand the power of novelty in a relationship until you’ve experienced it.

We’ve already talked about doing “new things” in the bedroom – but what about the rest of your relationship?

Why not do things differently as often as you can, instead of living by routine?

And if you can bring something into your relationship which has a little bit of risk in it, so much the better.

There’s lots of evidence to prove that men and women who share dangerous, or even mildly risky or exciting experiences, feel a lot more closely bonded.

I’m not suggesting that you should try and build a loving relationship with your man – or even try to make him love you – by going parachuting or scuba-diving together, but there are plenty of things you can share which will give you an exciting sense of achievement and will reinforce your love.

Bottom line: sharing good times bonds you more closely, and makes him fall in love with you more deeply and quickly.

16 Keep It Fun!

A fun-filled relationship is a happy relationship. And a happy relationship is one which is likely to grow from friendship into mutual love and appreciation.

So, even when you think it’s a challenge to get a man to love you, or to make a man fall in love with you, keep going. Remember that women been adept and skilful at getting men into relationships and loving them for a very long time. And you share all those feminine genes which give you access to those wily instincts…..

Deep down in your feminine genes is all the knowledge you need to be able to make a man love you. Get out there and have a go!

Have you ever considered the possibility that respect might be more important in a relationship than love?

That of course raises the interesting question – well, what is respect anyway? And that in turn leads me onto another question – well, what is love anyway?

What is Love?

Love is a term we tend to use for a person or object to which we feel attached or which we feel fond of. But I’ve heard men who were brought up in families where love was not the natural currency of relationships say things like “I don’t really know what love is.”

After all, as a child born into the world, if you’re not given a clear and open expression of love from the moment you’re born, you’re going to conclude one of two things: either that you’re not lovable, or that there’s something wrong with the way you love.

In addition, the concept of love, the meaning of which is clearly learned, is confused by different concepts like love of humanity, love of our pets, love of money, love of our possessions, love for ourselves, love of our children and love of our partner.

Are these the same kind of love? Or are they different? When you say that you want to make a man fall in love with you, is it the same as saying that you want to get a guy to love you?

When we talk about “loving somebody” but not “being in love”, we all think we know what we mean, but – do we really?

These are difficult and challenging questions.

But the thing that I’ve observed in many men I’ve worked with over the years is that respect goes a long way to building self-esteem, even when what I would describe as love is absent.

You see, part of respect is trusting somebody – trusting that they know what to do, trusting that they are indeed trustworthy, trusting that they are people of integrity, trusting that they are people of substance and worth.

As we all know, when children are treated in a way that sends the message they are respected, they will grow up to respect themselves – in other words, what the parents convey in their attitude to the child becomes the foundation of the child’s beliefs about him or herself.

The interesting question here, of course, is whether or not respect is a fundamental part of love. Can you love somebody without respecting them? I’m not sure that I believe this to be possible, so I would find it hard to accept the idea that children could be loved but not respected.

However I don’t find it difficult to buy into the concept that children can be respected but not loved, and I think in the end this is probably a better way to build self-esteem and a healthy image of self than to deny a child respect while claiming to love them.

You can bring this concept into your own adult life – as a partner, a husband or wife, or a man and woman, or a girl and guy.

When you say that you want to make a man want you, are you treating him with respect, or as a commodity?

If you were to ask the question about how you can get a man to marry you, is that really a respectful statement of intention? Where does it leave his wishes and beliefs about the situation?

I think it’s much less contentious to ask how you can get a man to fall in love with you – I’m assuming that you wouldn’t be asking that question if you didn’t believe there was some level of respect and trust between the two of you to start with!

Now having said all of that, of course love is the quality that can bring real happiness and joy to any relationship. It’s a quality of being and attachment that provides emotional bonds which make us feel secure and content in ourselves, emotional bonds which can carry almost any relationship through even the most challenging times.

When we talk about love, we are probably talking aboutattachment theory – a valuable quality in any relationship, and indeed particularly in a relationship with children.

There are no conclusions here, just some thoughts, designed to stimulate your enquiry into the question of what it means to want to make a guy love you, or what it means to want to make a man fall for you.

If you’re thinking about this, then the question uppermost in my mind is this: do you, above all, respect him, and if not, why would you want to be in a “loving relationship” with him anyway?

Video – Love and respect

What is Love?

The British newspaper, the guardian, ran a feature in 2016 asking people what they thought about love as Valentine’s Day approached.  What is love?

Interestingly enough, adults mostly they describe their own experience of it – as in “an obsession”, “all consuming”,  “the driver for all great stories of romantic love, of the love the parent to child, the family, of love the country”, for example….

While children offer a romantic view of love: “Love is the kind of gravity that holds people together like planets in the solar system.”

And a psychotherapist said that “similarity was easy, but difference was the real challenge”. And his view was that love is as much about obstacles and differences as it is about bliss and similarity.

“Love,” he said, “was about accepting difference, recovering from conflict and tolerating discord.” Indeed, this view of love extended to allowing your partner to be entirely who they are, even when that upsets you to the very core of your own being.

Such profound acceptance without judgement – is that love?  Maybe, but then all the other definitions of love offered by people in this article seem just as valid to me!

But it is an interesting idea, isn’t it, the notion that love is something to do with letting each other be who we are without fear of censure?

Your Boundaries Are Dissolving!

When we are in love, the boundaries between ourselves and our loved ones tend to diminish in strength, so that there is a real risk in wanting somebody to fall in love with you – the risk of losing your identity, say when you want to make a man fall for you, or to make a man fall in love with you.

Why do we take that risk? Is it because the experience of losing our boundaries and merging with another in the act of loving him, particularly in the act of physical union, of sexual connection, is so rewarding to us? And if so, why is losing our boundaries and our identity and merging so appealing?

Is it because it feels like a return to the childhood state of “oneness with mother” which we experience before and immediately after our birth, before we formed our own sense of identity?

Could this explain why some people describe love as “arriving home”? As a “safe haven”?

Or is it that simply we are programmed, biologically, with a particular neurological structure to want to experience love, and that hormones released in the body which act on the brain and nerve cells simply give us an experience we call love…. ?

Or perhaps it is simply a mechanism which evolved to promote long-term relationships, the mutual support of children, and perhaps even simply feeling good?

Maybe, at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter. We all know what our own experience of love feels like, and perhaps the reward of feeling it is enough for us to seek it out again and again. So in trying to have a guy fall in love with you, or in wanting to make someone love you, you’re simply aspiring to the highest form of love – the experience of bliss – and what could be wrong with that?

Love Your Partner

One of the problems in any loving relationship is that after a while, a kind of complacency settles in, and the partners forget to demonstrate their love to each other in the way that they did during the first romantic phase of the relationship.

If you want to avoid being complacent, and taking your partner for granted, whether you’re in a long-term relationship or a marriage, here are some tips that could help you to show your woman how much you love her, or, if you’re a woman, to show your man how much you love him.

Number one

Remember that the small things count a lot – you don’t have to make big gestures to demonstrate your love.

In fact, for a lot of people, any action which shows that you’re thinking about your partner may be more worthwhile than a big gestures such as a diamond ring.

It’s the little things that count, the unexpected things, the things that you don’t have to do, but you feel motivated to do by love. So what might that be?

Well, for example, you could suggest a stroll along the seafront in the moonlight after dinner. You could turn one of your rooms into a dance floor, and take your spouse in there and dance seductively and romantically with her.

You could be like a child, free and excited, and put up a tent in your own backyard to sleep out. You could talk about ideas for going on holiday together and sharing time. Really, because the essence of a relationship is all about connection and love, I don’t need to tell you what it is that can bind you more closely with your partner – use your imagination, and come up with your own ideas.

Number two – the big loving gesture

And having said above that it’s the small things that count – which is completely true, of course – it’s also true that big gestures count a lot, particularly to show your man how much you respect him.

The fact that you would go to the trouble to do this is a demonstration of your love and affection, and the time and effort that you’re willing to invest in your relationship.

“Love conquers all” is an interesting expression, because what it seems to mean is that no matter what difficulties you may be having, displaying your love will enable your relationship to move on much more smoothly. And there’s truth in that! What I mean by love conquers all, however, is different.

What I mean by love conquers all is the idea that if you want to make somebody fall in love with you – and this is particularly true if you are a woman who wants to make a man fall in love with you – then sometimes you do need to go the extra mile in terms of demonstrating your love and affection.

So for instance, you might reach out to your man’s family, and plan a surprise party with them for him. (It doesn’t matter whether it’s his birthday not, but do make sure that he is into surprise parties, or there might be some unexpected consequences!)

Not everyone likes a surprise party – is perhaps the area where extroverts can find pleasure, but were introverts might not be quite so delighted with your demonstration of your love.

Now of course we all know that when a man loves you, he is likely to reciprocate with grand gestures. And that’s absolutely great, but make sure that you remind him that falling in love with you doesn’t need big gestures, it needs a mixture of big ones and small ones!

Number three – Thoughtful actions show love

Whether you want to make your friend fall in love with you, whether you want to make your partner fall in love with you again, just as he did at the start of your relationship, you can show your love through thoughtful actions which will remind him of the love that you hold for him.

And when we talk about thoughtful actions, bear in mind these don’t have to be big things.

Once again, the principle is to show you’re thinking about your partner, that you have them in mind, and that you actually want to make the effort to please them, whether in bed or out, so you demonstrate to them that you like them, that you love them, and that in fact you want to be with them more than anybody else. (Hint – this is especially important for women.)

Video – cherishing a woman

Examples of what we talking about here might include buying a particular set of tools for a man, or a Gucci handbag for a woman. But don’t buy something that you think they might want – you have to know that this really is the object of their desire!

And of course there are simpler ways than buying an object to demonstrate your love, or to get a guy to like you, or to get a woman to like you: why not simply make something for them?

Indeed, something as simple as writing a poem can be a powerful demonstration of love, because it demonstrates that you’ve taken the time and trouble to think about them, and to come up with something you believe they might like.

Now in reference to number two above, it’s important to remember that making a lot of small gestures is just as powerful as making one big one.

And if you aren’t the kind of person who remembers to demonstrate your love on a regular basis, then one big gesture all of a sudden may not make up for the deficit of love that you’ve been showing.

Indeed, because of the way men think and feel, when a man is falling in love, he probably needs and appreciates numerous small gestures much more than a big one that would blow his mind.

Continuous care, based on the principle that you respect your man, is much more likely to make a man fall in love with you, or to make a guy who’s your friend want you in a more romantic way.

Indeed, it’s been said that when a man is falling in love, he’ll do anything for a woman – and of course he will! That’s the way we are programmed as human beings. But in actual fact, it’s also important to remember that when woman is in love with a man, particularly if she’s a woman who wants to make a man marry her, then she too might find it helpful to court her man, sending him gifts, thinking about what he might like to receive from her, and making many small gestures of love.

Number four – get to know your love

This is the easiest of all – it’s about getting to know somebody better, which is always a prelude to falling in love, by spending time “being present” – that is to say, consciously present – with your partner.

Bear in mind that you don’t have to be doing things, and you don’t have to be exchanging gifts, to fall in love with each other. Indeed, silence and simply being present with each other can be a powerful way of connecting at a deeper level than the superficial one we tend to connect with on everyday life.

As a woman, you are probably very interested in what makes men fall in love psychology.

So let me tell you, that simply being appreciated and respected are the most powerful ways of making a man understand that you have a deep regard for him. And one of the best ways of demonstrating this is to be present together without distraction.

You see, being present together not only allows things to arise from the silence between you, but it also allows you to serve your partner in some way.

That means taking care of their needs, of course, and couples who do this for each other generally have a very strong affection for each other. So if they have started to take each other for granted, this is almost certain to make them fall in love with each other again.

We’re talking about things like going on a date alone, getting away from  children (perhaps having them stay with their grandparents), avoiding busy schedules, and turning off the phone, the TV, and all the other distractions that are so familiar to us in everyday life.

You could ask questions gently of your partner, about what your partner likes and wants and expects and hopes for in life.

You can come to understand each other’s psychology much better, and you can do this even more effectively if you go on holiday together, without distraction, leaving the cell phone behind, and really get to know them.

Because, you see, you may be fine at home, but are you really in love? After a while of being together, is it necessary for you to make him want you? Or, as man, is it necessary for you to get your woman to like you or love you once more?

Showing that you care about who they are, in an honest and open fashion, without judgement, is one of the most powerful ways to make somebody feel affectionate towards you.

Number five – good communication

Communicate your love to your partner. You see, the interesting thing about communication is that most of us aren’t very good at it.

When somebody talks to us, particularly if they have a complaint or suggestion about how we might improve our lives, we tend to take it as a reflection on us in a personal way.

Therefore, cultivating the art of simply listening with an open heart, and not judging your partner as they discharge whatever emotion they need to speak, can be a very powerful way of removing tension between you ….. and, once again, contributing to that wonderful feeling of falling in love with each other.

And here, it’s important for men especially to get used to talking about feelings. Men, you really have to communicate feelings to your woman, because although you may prefer to avoid feelings,  when a man falls in love with a woman, she really expects him to explain to her how he’s feeling, and, perhaps even more difficult for most men, she expects him to empathize with her.

This isn’t about fixing problems, it isn’t about fixing her because there’s something wrong with her! No, it’s about simply listening to her in a way that shows your respect and allows her to discharge the emotion she feels and to think through problems so she can reach her own solutions.

To sum up: clear communication is one of the most powerful ways of showing anybody how much you appreciate them, and how much you love.

Number six: openness and honesty

Any relationship depends on openness and honesty.

But men in particular seem to find it easier to dissemble or even be disingenuous towards their partner; but it’s not about trying overly to deceive them.

It’s about having an easy life, knowing that if a woman hears some things she doesn’t like from a man, no matter how much she might love him, she is likely to engage in a kind of penetrating, questioning discourse to find out what the facts are.

Men really don’t like this, perhaps partly because they regard themselves a competent problem solvers, and they don’t want the hassle – as they see it – of a conversation about something they feel perfectly capable of solving on their own.

But it’s important to understand that this is NOT how a woman sees it. Men should not get caught up in the notion – in fact we think it’s a cultural notion – that it’s never necessary to seek help if you’re with a loving partner, that it’s better to trust your own abilities.

Men, truth is that your partner actually wants you to tell her the truth, and to share what is on your mind – particularly for a woman, this sharing establishes closeness, love and affection.

In communicating with your partner, it’s important, as I mentioned above, to find a way of not being triggered into an emotional place by regarding what they say as a judgement about you.

Number seven: love comes in many forms

Find out how your partner wants to express love.

Yes, this is a radical idea for many people, but it’s important! You won’t know anything about the psychology of how long it takes to fall in love unless you actually know which form of interaction your partner sees as a loving gesture.

So, for example, could it be that your partner regards acts of service as a demonstration of love? Or could it be that your partner feels that when you do something for them you are demonstrating your love for him or her? And sometimes people need physical touch demonstrate love, or they need to be reassured by receiving gifts which, to them, demonstrate their partner’s love.

Men seem to forget that women really need physical affection as a demonstration of love, especially kissing and hugging. And if this is spontaneous, and unexpected, so much the better – sometimes a woman will be rejuvenated by the affection of a man reaching out for her.

Of course, women might want to remember that men find physical connection somewhat difficult sometimes.

In general, it’s fair to say that most men find physical demonstrations of affection such as kissing, loving and hugging less important than women – so if you want to make a guy fall in love with you, make sure you’ve established exactly what he sees as the way someone shows their love.

Women, making a guy fall for you isn’t difficult, but it does require you to have some understanding of why humans fall in love, and in particular how to make a particular man feel loving towards you.